JOKES


  1. Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”

Student: “Meat!”

Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”

Student: “Bacon!”

Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”

Student: “Homework!”

  1. An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied “It is obviously past.”
  2. Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”

Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

  1. Wife: “How would you describe me?”

Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”

Wife: “What does that mean?”

Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”

Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

  1. Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

  1. Wife: “In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring.”

Husband: “I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill.”

  1. Girlfriend: “Am I pretty or ugly?”

Boyfriend: “You’re both.”

Girlfriend: “What do you mean?”

Boyfriend: “You’re pretty ugly.”

  1. A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.

Boy: Why do you look so fat?

Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.

Boy: Is it a good baby?

Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.

Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

 

 

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